Sunset Beach

We had just finished enjoying one of Door County Wisconsin's fish boils.  We wandered out of the White Gull Inn in Fish Creek, Wisconsin and walked a short distance to Sunset Park.  A large quiet crowd had gathered to watch the sunset.  People were sitting everywhere quietly chatting with family and friends.  A few couples were sipping wine in glasses, others had a good book along and the family dogs were laying quietly.  Children played near Mom and Dad.  A lovely, lovely, picture of family life in America.  It was beautiful.  As the sun slipped below the horizon the crowd broke out into spontanous applause.  Lovely! 

Water... the stuff of life

It is the summer of 2012.  Most the the U.S. is experiencing a significant drought.  Water is just one of those things that you just don't think about until it's in short supply.  Corn and soybeans are dead in the field in many places.  Ranchers have been forced to sell off their herds because there is nothing to graze on.  We are simply "hosed" without H two O.

Our area has not been hit as hard by the drought.  Fall is coming and the trees are being to turn...  I was thinking about the blessing of water while driving home last evening.    As I crested a hill I could see 12 miles.  There were rolling hills, red barns, white farm houses, corn fields, woods, and in the distance Lake Michigan.  A few wispy clouds floated overhead and some mist was just beginning to rise from the hay fields.  How many water molecules must there be locked in this beautiful scene?  I cannot comprehend a number that big.  A million trillion? I am sure that is way too small.  Most plants are at least 80% water, water vapor is invisible, our bodies are at least 60% water.  Without water there is no reproduction in plants or animals.  Within this seemingly simple molecule is the stuff of life.  I am thankful for water and the great God who sends it.  I ran across this verse a few days after I wrote this...

"But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water."  2 Peter 3:5

Good fences make good neighbors.

The first time I heard this little proverb was at the Menno-Hof Museum in Shipshewana, Indiana.  I was puzzled by its meaning and left the museum with only a vague idea as to the point that was being made by the Amish community.  Many years have gone by... now I get it!  I think my discussion here will be in a different context; however let me explain.

This proverb is from a poem written by Robert Frost in 1914.  The poem describes two neighbors that are rebuilding a stone wall that runs between their properties.  They are working side by side on opposite sides of the stone fence.  A discussion ensues between the neighbors about the need for a fence and the conclusion is drawn that "good fences make good neighbors".
The original poem deals with property boundaries.  

Interpersonal relationships also need boundaries.  These invisible understandings between people keep people in their proper place in relationships.  Most people conflicts arise when boundaries either don't exist or are intruded on.     I am going to explain this delicate balance with some examples.

Criticism
This is often in the form of constant verbal criticism of another family member. The person on the receiving end feels like a worm and the person dishing out the criticism feels that they are dominate.
This can also happen between "friends".  Nasty remarks, mean Face Book posts or text messages that jab anothers feelings are all part of this game.  If you are on the receiving end of the criticism you need to lay down a firm boundary.
Here are somethings that you can do:
Get up and walk away (while they are mid-sentence)
Tell the criticizer that they are being hurtful and you won't listen to their abuse anymore.
Point out "that was mean" or " your rude and your wrong".
With a boundary laid down your verbal abuser will likely back off.
Do not confuse constant unproductive criticism with loving correction.   Listen to correction.  Set a boundary on verbal abuse.

Money
Generous family members often get taken advantage of by those they love.  You should never ask family members for money or loans unless you are in catastrophic circumstances.  Children should be taught that your wallet is NOT their wallet.  If you find yourself being asked for money by family members your most powerful boundary is the word "NO".  Don't feel guilty about refusing money- they shouldn't be asking in the first place.  "Get a job" is also an important thought for those that sponge off family and friends.
Family members should not be helping balance checkbooks... that's what personal bankers are for.  Older family members need to be careful who they trust with their finances. 

Keys and access to your home.
Grandchildren, "friends", neighbors.  You love them but that doesn't mean they should have free run of your place.  Sometimes a grandchild ends up with a bad friend that you wouldn't want to have in your home.
Again just say "NO".

How do you set interpersonal boundaries?

Just not my gig...

We often spend a lot of time trying to fix our weakness.  While I think that we should spend some time working on improving ourselves I think our time is better spent captializing on our strengths.  Our weakness' are often there for a lifetime.  We are all wired differently and should not expect to be good at everything. Weakness serve to keeps us humble.   We should not spend a lifetime working to "fix" what we are not made to do.  It is best to find out what you are really good at and then hone that gift. 

Here's a cool  Bible verse about this very thing.
"Kenaniah the head Levite was in charge of the singing; that was his responsibility because he was skillful at it".
1 Chronicles 15:22

"Train  a child in the way he is bent (natural gifts) and when he is old he will not turn from it."
Proverbs 22:6

What is your gift? 

How to change the world.

Our church hosts Kid's Camp every year.  We have 130 inner city youth come for a weekend of rural fun at our small town church.   We swim, canoe, hike, and pet farm animals.  We serve up lots of delicious food with a large helping of love.  Friendships form across cultural lines as our church's young adults serve as councilors.   Our church and community work hard to host this huge group.  We do all this because we want to share what Jesus has done for us.  When Jesus is discovered as Lord and Friend lives are transformed.  How do you change the world?  WE don't change the world... Jesus changes the world.  We are to introduce our friends to Jesus the World Changer.
"Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Alighty".
Zechariah 4:6

Tell me about how Jesus is changing your world.