What are you leaving behind?

I loved to water ski when I was a young woman.  It took me a long, long time to learn how to get up.  I must of had a million wipe outs before I finally took off with the wind in my face.  I eventually learned to sloam (ski with one ski).  Then I really thought I was "hot stuff".  One of the many things you have to learn when you ski is how to jump the wake.  The wake is the wave pattern the boat leaves behind.  Jumping over this is a trick in itself.  Yes.  I finally learned how to do that too. 

Now on to the life lesson:
Looking the  rear view mirror of life  we need to check to see what we are leaving in the wake.  I know one individual that left a wake of destroyed relationships.  They never stopped to look in the rear view mirror and check to see what they were leaving behind.  Years later the broken relationships remain broken.  The family involved stays disconnected and while some family members would enjoy a relationship with the extended family it will never happen.  People are afraid to get in touch because so much negative stuff was left in the wake of this person's life.  So again,  I pause.  What am I leaving behind?  Maybe it is not a coincidence that the family gathering after the death of a loved one is called a wake.  I know that I am going to be checking the rear view mirror.  I want to leave the world a better place and not a wake of destruction.

Wise work.

If you have a job you love you'll never work a day in your life.

What makes us special.

Quote from Sir Den Robinson speaking to Disney president Anne Sweeney:
"...companies need people who can think differently and adapt and be creative.  A company like Disney in fact all companies-depends on this great multiplicity of talents.  The continuum, as I see it, starts with imagination.  It's the most extraordinary set of powers that we take for granted: the ability to bring into mind the things that aren't present.  It's why we are so different from the rest of life on earth.  That's why we're sitting in a beautiful building, drinking from these cups.  Because human beings make things.  We create things..."
-Fast Company  page 80
September 2013

Disconnected.

Its really important to be connected to God.  I did not really realize how important until I recently met a woman with no Christian influence in her life.  She had many difficulties including a divorce, a child that was doing poorly in school, money problems, conflict with co-workers and many other issues in her life.  It was sad to see her struggle as she made many bad decisions and then had to deal with the consequences.  Rebellion marked her personality.

I began to realize that she:

• had poor judgment because she was disconnected with the Judge.
• could not tell what the weather was going to do because she was not attuned to the God who sent the rain.
• knew very little about the natural world because she was disconnected from the Creator.
• had family problems because she was in rebellion to the Father.
• was dishonest because she was not connected to the source of truth.

Christianity has a huge influence on us.  "Common sense" is a gift from God.

Four gifts.

Here are some things that we often over look in creation:
The gift of motion.
It is lovely to watch the tree tops sway in the breeze.
I love to watch the sunlight dance on rippling waves.
The gift of color.
Colors gently brushed and blended at sunrise or sunset.
A garden bursting with different shades of green.
The gift of textures.
Smooth or rough tree bark.
Shiny smooth leaves others rough with little bristles.
The gift of sound.
Quiet things... frogs calling, crickets chirping, the wind blowing through the cottonwoods, boats rocking, birds calling, cicadas whirring, rain on the roof.  These are lovely peaceful sounds that soothe us.

Wise words.

Knowledge speaks.  Wisdom Listens.

What to do?

Hello friends,
I gotta tell you... I got my feelings hurt-bad.  It's a very lonely place to be right now.  I have been doing a lot of soul searching about this situation.  My soul searching has led me to ask myself the following:

Is it me?  This took some brutal honesty.

Is it them?  I've got to be fair here.

Will trying harder improve or fix the situation?

If YES... then continue my efforts.

If NO... then it's time to move on and invest elsewhere. 

I think I have made my peace with this situation.  It's not the outcome I want but sadly,  it is time to just move on.

Moving on requires me to forgive.  Moving on requires me to figure life is short and I had better be wise as to where I invest my time and effort.

I'm moving forward and shaking the dust off my feet.

The gift of a soul.

I just finished reading Ben-Hur : A Tale of the Christ by Lew Wallace.  This book is a difficult read due to the high vocabulary level but it also has colorful characters and a great plot.  The book is set in the time of Christ's life.  The main character, Judah Ben Hur, is anxious to help Christ set-up a political kingdom and overthrow the Roman government.    Judah, through a long series of events meets Balthasar, one of the three wise men.  Balthasar understands that Christ's Kingdom will be a spiritual one.  The following discussion ensues as Balthasar mentors the young Ben-Hur: (this is long but very profound).

Balthasar speaks:
" I cannot tell you when the idea of a Soul in every man had its origin.  Most likely the first parents brought it with them out of the garden in which they had their first dwelling.  We all do know, however, that it has never perished entirely out of mind.  By some peoples it was lost, but not by all; in some ages it dulled and faded; in others it was overwhelmed with doubts; but, in great goodness, God kept sending us at intervals mighty intellects to argue it back to faith and hope.

"Why should there be a Soul in every man?  Look, O son of Hur-for one moment look at the necessity of such a device.  To lie down and die, and be no more- no more forever-time never was when man wished for such an end; nor has the man ever been who did not in his heart promise himself something better.  The monuments of the nations are all protests against nothingness after death;  so are statues and inscriptions; so is history.  The greatest of our Egyptian kings had his effigy cut out of a hill of solid rock.  Day after day he went with a host in chariots to see the work; at last it was finished, never effigy so grand, so enduring; it looked like him-the features were his, faithful even in expression.  Now may we not think of him saying in that moment of pride, 'Let Death come; there is an after-life for me!  He had his wish.  The statue is there yet.

"But what is the after-life he thus secured?  Only a recollection by men-a glory unsubstantial as moonshine on the brow of the great bust: a story in stone-nothing more.  Meantime what has become of the king?  There is an embalmed body up in the royal tombs which once was his- an effigy not so fair to look at as the other out in the Desert.  But where, O son of Hur, where is the king himself?  Is he fallen into nothingness?  Two thousand years have gone since he was a man alive as you and I are.  Was his last breath the end of him?

" To say yes would be to accuse God; let us rather accept his better plan of attaining life after death for us-actual life, I mean-the something more than a place in mortal memory; life with going and coming, with sensation, with knowledge, with power and all appreciation; life eternal in the term through it may be with changes of condition.

"Ask you what God's plan is?  The gift of a Soul to each of us at birth, with this simple law-there shall be no immortality except through the Soul...

"...A word as to the pleasure there is in the thought of a Soul in each of us.  In the first place, it robs death of its terrors by making dying a change for the better, and burial but the planting of a seed from which there will spring a new life... behold me as I am -weak, weary, old, shrunken in body, graceless; look at my wrinkled face, think of my failing senses, listen to my shrilled voice.  Ah! what happiness to me in the promise that when the tomb opens, as soon it will, to receive the worn-out husk I call myself, the now viewless doors of the universe, which is but the palace of God, will swing wide ajar to receive me, a liberated immortal Soul!

...I leave to him the organization of my Soul, and every arrangement for the life after death.  I know he loves me."

The gift of a soul is really the only thing that matters.  How easy it is to get caught up in everything else this life offers.  God forgive me for forgetting the gift of my soul.

Evil doers.

There has been a lot of trouble in the United States this week.  Many, many sad things have happened all over the country. The Boston Marathon bombing and North Korea's threats are foremost in my thoughts. These troubles have been caused by some very evil men.  In that context this passage of scripture really stood out to me.

"They(evil men who occupy seats of power) pour out arrogant words;
all the evildoers are full of boasting.
The crush your people, O Lord;
the oppress your inheiritance.
They slay the widow and the alien;
they murder the fatherless.
They say, "The Lord does not see;
the God of Jacob pays no heed."
Take heed, you senseless ones among
the people;
you fools, when will you beome
wise?
Does he who implanted the ear not hear?
Does he who formed the eye not see?
Does he who disciplines nations not punish?
Does he who teaches man lack knowledge?
Psalm 94:4-10

Good reminder for me.  God is still in control.

Same couch... five years later.

I ran into an old acquaintance at the store today.  We chatted awhile about our lives.  This retired, smart, attractive, healthy woman is bored out of her mind.  Sadly, she really has nothing to do.  I hadn't seen her about five years and she was in exactly the same place in her life that she was five years ago.  Bored. 

I have another friend whose son dropped in to visit with some old friends.  These friends had not been a good influence on him but he told his mom same place, same stuff, same couch five years later.  The son was wise enough to decide that he didn't want to "sit" on that old couch any more.

Change is hard.  Really hard... and it's scary too.  I think that I have to be very intentional with some good life planning so I don't end up on the same couch five years later.  That for me is even scarier than change.

What couch are you sitting on?  Is it time for a change?
How do you over come your fear of change?

TED talk. "The best gift I ever survived"

This is profound. 

http://www.ted.com/talks/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html

GRIT

Grit is defined as "perseverance and passion for long-term goals.  Grit entails working strenuously toward challenges, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress.  The gritty individual approaches achievement as a marathon; his or her advantage is stamina.  Whereas disappointment or boredom signals to others that it is time to change trajectory and cut losses, the gritty individual stays the course".  Grit is the best indicator of success. According to a study by W. W. Willingham* follow-through (here, referred to as grit) was the single best predictor of significant accomplishment in science, art, sports, communications, organization, or some other endeavor.

One gritty individual is William Carey.  Carey is considered the father of modern missions.  Carey was born in 1761 in Northamptonshire, England.  Carey was apprenticed as a cobbler and spent many years repairing shoes.  Carey showed a talent for languages.  Carey learned Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Italian, Dutch and French while cobbling shoes.  Carey had a growing conviction that God was calling him to translate the Bible into the Indian language.    As Carey prepared to leave England Carey's father questioned his decision to go to India.  His father could not envision what skills he would take to India.  Carey told his father "I can plod".  With that single qualification William Carey left for India in 1793 with his family and a desire to reach the Indian people with the gospel.   He and his family suffered many, many hardships.

At the heart of Carey's mission work was the development of a dictionary, grammars, and the Bible in both the Bengali and Sanskrit languages.   On March 11, 1812 a fire swept through the printing building destroying 17 years of pain-staking work.  Carey did not give up.   Carey went back to work translating the Bible one page at a time.   By the time of his death in 1834 the Bible had been translated into 44 languages.  This is grit in action.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of you faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything".
James 1: 2-4

Please share your examples of Grit in action.

*Willingham, W.W. (1985) Success in college: The role of personal qualities and academic ability, page 213. New York: College Entrance Examination Board.

Dancing in front of the mirror...

Narcissus was a mythical Greek youth who pined away in love for his own image in a pool of water and was transformed into the flower that bears his name. 

It is so easy to get pulled into the pool of self admiration.  Facebook and You-tube all drag us into the world of "hey look at how great I am".  It's hard to resist dancing in the mirror because it's just so impressive to see ourselves on a screen.

What are your thoughts?  I find myself dancing in the mirror too.   How should we handle our Narcissistic tendencies?

Why do good men suffer?

Life is filled with a lot of sad, unfair stuff.  I have these sermon notes written in the back of my Bible.

• Suffering reminds us we live in a fallen world.
• Suffering helps us to see how much we need God.
• Suffering shapes us into God's image.  Suffering is God's potters wheel.
• Suffering is redemptive.  (ie. the Cross)

What are your thoughts friend?

Suffering... the pause in life

For those of you that read my previous post I wanted to share some more thoughts.

I was a very healthy active woman.  I did yoga, horseback riding, and hiked all over camp.  I am a pretty lively and enthusiastic person.  My recent illness caught me by surprise.  My bout of "c. diff" (see previous post)  could have killed me or changed my life forever.  The doctor told me at a follow up appointment " people come into the hospital with c. diff and leave without a colon".  That certainly gave me pause.  Life is fragile.

During those three weeks that I was deathly ill I did some soul searching. 
"Was I ready to meet God?"
"Was there anything I needed needed to ask God for forgiveness  for?"  (Yes. and I did)
"Where there any relationship issues that needed to be resolved?"
"Had I told my family I loved them enough?"
"What would my dear husband and children do without me?"  "Are they equipped to survive emotionally without me?"

Believe me, these are not easy questions to ask yourself.  Yet they are very important.  They should be in the back of our minds as we make our way through life.  It is easy to get caught up in being busy and productive without much thought to some of the hard questions.  I do not think it would be good to live life fearing the worst but I think maybe God allows suffering to help us focus on what really matters.

What are your insights?  What have you learned when life hits you hard with a "pause"?

Clostridium difficile aka c. diff

I learned more about Clostridium difficle than I ever wanted to know.  Clostridium difficle(aka c. diff) is a bad boy bacteria that can invade your digestive track and wage a war.  c. diff is one of several nasty bacteria in the Clostridium family.  You've probably heard of this bad boys cousins: Clostridium botulinum, the cause of botulism, and Clostridium tetani, the bacteria that causes tetanus.

I will spare you the details but suffice it to say what started as a case of "it must be something I ate" quickly progressed to severe bloody diarrhea.  My delay of almost a week nearly cost me my life or my colon.  I was put on a heavy duty antibiotic and a probiotic that saved my life.

c. diff can be found in many places, it resides in soils and surfaces.  It generally doesn't cause a healthy people much trouble because we have all kinds of good bacteria in our colons that keep this bad bacteria in check. c. diff is a spore producing bacteria that is not killed by alcohol based hand sanitizer.  Bleach is the only thing that kills this bacteria's spores.  Soap and water hand washing also helps greatly.  Wash your hands carefully when ever you have been in a health care setting.

The doctors believe that I got into this mess because I had taken antibiotics for a sinus infection a month before all this happened.  I usually eat active culture yogurt when I am on antibiotics... but not this time.   Since the regular flora in my colon was greatly reduced c. diff had opportunity to take over.

Unchecked c. diff can progress to a condition called mega colon.  This life treating complication can cause your colon to explode.  Very few survive this complication. 

I hope that my story can spare you this terrible illness.

Here is what I learned in MY CASE:
Do not take antibiotics unless absolutely necessary.
If you take antibiotics add an over the counter probiotic called Florastor.  Florastor is a probiotic with Saccharomyces boulardii , a strain of yeast that has been proven to keep c. diff in check.
Eat yogurt with live cultures.
If you experience unusual diarrhea or see any blood at all... go to your doctor immediately!

I AM ONLY SHARING MY EXPERIENCES.  THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE.  CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR FOR HIS SPECIFIC RECOMMENDATIONS. 

Some of the best advice I have ever heard...

"Pick and choose your battles"

What's your favorite piece of wisdom?

Learning love...

They say the first five years of a child's life are the most important...

As quoted from PBS's Downton Abbey:

"What I want for her (Rose) to know is that family can be a loving thing.  Love is like riding or speaking French... if you don't learn it young it's hard to get the trick of it later".

--Shrimpy speaking about his daughter Rose whom had not seen an example of a loving family in his own home.

Any other Downton Abbey fans out there?  What nuggets of wisdom have you picked up from this colorful cast of characters?

Loving on your disabled loved one.

Grandma had a disabling stroke a couple of years ago.  She now lives in a skilled care facility.  She is in very bad shape and spends her days sitting in a wheelchair and requires full care.  Poor Grandma!  Grandma can't fed herself or carry on a conversation.  She sees poorly, often is stuck in repeating a nonsensical phase for months at a time.  So what's a family to do?  Here are some things that we have learned through trial and error. 

Visit as often as possible.  Short and sweet is fine.  Spend more time if you can.

Talk about past happy times.  Tell your loved one about current happy times.  Mention family names.  You may get a word or two.  Capitalize on that and tell them more about that person.

Tell sad news on a relevant, as needed basis.  They may need to know that a loved one has died.  However they do not need to be burdened with the troubles of world events or the messy details of a divorce.  If a regular visitor hasn't been there for awhile do tell them that so and so has not visited because they are sick.  I think Grandma is thinking and perhaps worrying about her family.

Listen to music together.  Notice your loved ones' response... choose calming, soothing tones.

Enlarge photos to 8x10.  Photos of the kids when they were with Grandma in her younger days may connect with the part of Grandma's life that is still with her.  Past events generally stick in a stroke patients mind current events often do not. Talk about all the fun you had at the event in the photo.  You may be rewarded with a smile of recognition.

Read the Bible to your loved one.  Short encouraging passages will be good for both of you.  Your family member may be thinking about their spiritual life.

Read poetry or short, simple, and happy stories to your family member.

Have a card shower.  Send an e-mail out to family and friends to send Grandma a card with cheerful note or photo.  Read the mail to your loved one... more than once.

Go for lunch.  Patiently feed your loved one.  Plan on spending some time doing this.  Take this opportunity to chat with the staff at the table about your loved one.  Tell them that your loved one is a big sports fan, what type of job they did, hobbies,  pets, children or anything else that will make your loved one a real person to the staff.  Remember the staff probably knows nothing about your family member.  This will help the staff talk to your patient and also make the patient more than just someone to be cared for.

Take a treat.  Check with the nurses before you offer this to your loved one.    Grandma is not diabetic so she can have a milkshake.  However, thickner is added to that she will not choke as the ice cream melts into liquid form.   The staff should be happy to help you with getting this correct.  Grandma loves this part of our visit.

Give Grandma a kiss and hug.  Tell her you love her and appreciate all she did for you.

Take a box of chocolates to the staff.  Show appreciation for their efforts on behalf of your loved one. 

Be your loved ones advocate.  Be respectful and specific if you see any problems.  Go to the adminstrator of the facility if necessary.  Follow through until you are satified with your loved one's care.  Pick and choose your battles but your loved one deserves to be treated right.

Talk to the staff.  A good staff will be working on your loved ones issues.  After months and months of listening to Grandma tell us that there was " a bear-flier in her hair" one of the staff members goggled the phrase "bear-flier".  To our amazement she found that a "bear-flier" was a type of fishing lure.  With that little piece of information I asked Grandma if she had ever had a "bear-flier"  stuck in her hair while fishing with her husband.  She nodded her head "yes" and looked enormously relieved.  I asked her if she had gone to the hospital to have it removed and again she nodded her head "yes".  She finally got through to all of us!  Kudos to the staff member for solving the mystery. 
None of the family knew this story but Grandma wanted us to know.  It was a great relief to all of us.  She is still talking about the "bear flier" but at least we know what that's about now. 

Grandma I love you!

Please share your ideas on ministering to your elderly loved ones.

What not to wear...

I have just spent the last hour in a Juniors clothing store.  I "parked" on a chair  and settled in to wait on my daughters while they shopped. 

A group of young teen girls were shopping together for some sort of dressy occasion.  I watched in amusement as they paraded in front of the large mirror trying on ridiculously short and tight dresses.  Later they began to complete their "look" with shoes they could hardly walk in.  I really don't know what they saw but I saw bumps, lumps, knobby knees and wobbly legs.  I never knew what they actually bought but I hope for their sake nothing.

Conclusion... the two rules for selecting formal ware are:

1.  If you've got to yank it up or pull it down it doesn't fit.

2.  If you can't walk gracefully in the shoes you have picked out- they are not for you.

How do you deal with modesty issues with your daughters?

Purpose, Practice, Pilates, Prayer and Persistance

It's not always easy to reach a goal.  After SIX years I have finally become a certified therapeutic horseback riding instructor with PATH international.   This was a big goal for me.  I did not ride horses as a kid so I had to start from scratch.

My journey started on my 50th birthday when I decided that I wanted to do "something" with horses.  I didn't have much extra money so I signed up to volunteer at EquiVenture in Russiaville, Indiana.  I really enjoyed helping there so I decided to become an instructor.

Spring semester of 2006 I signed up for a class in therapeutic horseback riding at Purdue.  I spent an interesting semester there and began taking serious steps to becoming an instructor.

Having a clear plan and goal as laid out by PATH(the organization that oversees certifications) really helped me get through the whole process.  Riding, studying, volunteering and more riding were all part of the process.

I had to ride, and ride and ride.  However, just riding was not enough.   I found that I had to work even harder by going to a Pilate's class and doing strengthening exercises everyday.  Then I took more riding lessons and continued to work.

 Then came the big certification workshop in September 2011.  I had passed both written tests, the teaching test, 25 hours of student teaching only to fail the riding segment. Failure is such an ugly word.  But there it was staring me in the face.  PATH does allow one retake for the failed component.

I nearly quit.  I was totally discouraged. Both Ginger,my mentor, and my husband encouraged me to stay the course and give it one more shot.  So I hung in there and resubmitted the riding portion of the test in October 2012.

I did a lot of praying and just kept working toward my goal.  Ginger, my mentor was wonderfully  patient and instructed me in both riding and horsemanship.  In January of 2013 I received my official papers that I had passed the certification!  Thank you Lord!

What are some of your goals?  What kind of difficulties did you overcome and how?

What really matters... Number Five

Staying healthy will really help everything.  Eating right, keeping off the extra weight and exercising will make a huge difference in your life and your family's life.  Exercise should be fun... so pick something you enjoy doing and then go do it. 

What's your favorite way to exercise?

What really matters... Number Four

Quality time vs. Quantity time.  This debate has been going on for a long time.  I think that quality and quanity time with the family are equally important.  Quality time moments cannot be scripted or forced.  Sometimes the most well planned event is a total flop and sometimes a silly spontanous moment of fun just happens.

Planning quality time is important as it signals that you care enough to plan a cool outing or event.  Quality time often makes some special memories.

Quantity time is when you usually have those important conservations with the kids.  Quantity time lets things flow in their own good time... maybe late at night or in the car but it is important to be there. 

What's your favorite way to spend time with your family?

What really matters... Number Three

The family dinner is a precious moment that we take for granted.  This is the time that we can gather after a busy day and share  prayers,  thoughts, encouragement , and  a laugh.  It is so easy to dismiss this as unimportant.  Busy evenings, sports schedules and all manner of good things can push the family dinner to the side.  I am going to work on making this a priority in our family life.

What's your family's favorite meal?

The things that matter... Number ONE!

If you were to die tonight would you go to heaven?  This is a heavy question but probably the most important one you will ever ask yourself.  It takes courage to honestly answer this question.  Hell is not pretty ... you don't want to be there.  If you are not sure if you are going to heaven I would encourage you to really examine the Bible and see what it says about heaven and hell and our response to Christ.  Jesus came to save us.  Jesus loves us.  Jesus forgives us if we ask him too.  Jesus asks us to simply put Him first.  Selfish ambition has to go.  As hard as this sounds it is an invitation to a wonderful life of service to Christ and others.

Luke 16: 9-31

We are not called to be perfect or sinless.  Our short comings are covered by GRACE.  Grace is the forgiveness of a debt we owe for our wrong doings.  This is a wonderful gift!  So claim the gift of Christ's salvation and step into Jesus' abundant life.  You were created for good works.  Jesus will use your gifts, talents, and interests for the good of His Kingdom.  You will find yourself at peace with your life. 

James 3: 13-18

Are you at peace with God?

Politically correct.

"Political correctness is just tyranny with manners,  so I wish for you to be un-popular.  Popularity is just history's pocket change.  But courage... courage is history's true currency".
- the late Charlton Heston addressing the Arizona House of Representatives

What really matters...Number Two

Having someone to pray for...

If you have someone to pray for you are indeed blessed!  Having someone to care about, nurture, and pray for is the stuff of life!  This is your legacy.  Paying it forward by investing your prayers is others is a privilege.  

Who are you blessed to pray for?