Are you smarter than your computer?

NOVA (PBS) recently aired a program about a team of researchers at IBM that were building a computer to compete on JEOPARDY! They named the computer "Watson". "Watson" competed against Jeopardy's top winners and won. But don't despair. Computers can recall facts with a great deal of accuracy but have real problems with the nuances of language. The human brain is fearfully and wonderfully made. So celebrate your human smarts and enjoy these tricky word plays!
Watson can't laugh!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a
rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

The optometrist who fell into the eyeglass making machine made
a spectacle of himself.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.