Yes. I admit it. I am very, very frugal.
I will share a story out of my life. My oldest daughter is very artistic. For her 24th birthday she wanted the whole family to go to a ceramic shop and have each family member paint and glaze a cereal bowl for her. I must admit that I complained about how much this was going to cost and even tried to talk her out of such an expensive birthday treat. In the end I agreed and begrudgingly paid the bill.
As it turned out we had a fantastic afternoon as we painted and laughed together. I apologized to my daughter for complaining about how much it cost and told her it was a great birthday party.
The bowls turned out beautifully and she has a special bowl that reflects each family member's personality.
Two months later...
An uncle who attended the party passed away very unexpectedly at age 53. I almost missed making a very special family memory because I didn't want to spend the money. I am reminded of the story of the woman who poured the expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. She was rebuked by some of the disciples for wasting money that could be used to help the poor. Jesus replied " Leave her alone, Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me." Mark 14:6-7
Every day is a gift.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Just say "No"
Safety
Is your child on Facebook? If so you need to find out how much of your personal information your child has posted on the Internet. Some kids just post their name, address, phone number, cell phone number, and looking for a relationship without a second thought. Kids are often tricked into being friends with stalkers. Stalkers are very clever and have a million different ploys to become "friends" with your child.
Privacy
Parents that allow their children to be on social networks like Facebook, My Space, and Twitter need to be extremely vigilant about what is posted on social networking sites. I often hear parents defend their child's Facebook activity by telling me it is private and only open to their friends. First do you really know all of your child's Facebook friends? How much time do you have to monitor their social network activities? Second, there is nothing posted on the Internet that a smart stalker can't find out.
While you may think you are keeping track of what is going on another common trick is for kids to create two Facebook pages; one for their parents to see and one that the parents do not know about for their friends. Please be wise enough to recognize this as a possibility and don't get caught in the mentality that your child "would never do that". Check things out.
Bullying
When I taught high school I was shocked at the amount of bullying that occurred Facebook. People will say things on Facebook that they will never say to a person's face. Nice, student council type kids would find a victim and set up a group to pick on a fellow student. In a high school setting the victim has no place to hide from the wolf pack that surrounds them. Things spiral downward for the victim and the perpetrators don't get caught because they never quite cross the line of mentioning names or being libelous.
Sex
Many after school sexual encounters are set up on Facebook. Purchase parental controls for your computer and don't allow kids on the computer when you are not around to be the POS (parent over shoulder). Your kids will be annoyed but that is your job as a parent. Keep your kids accountable as to their whereabouts after school. Come home from work early occasionally just to check up on things.
Just say "No".
I do not think children should be allowed to have a Facebook page until they are in at least 11th grade. While this is very "uncool" it will save you a ton of headaches. By the time a child is in the upper high school grades most of the middle school meanness should be over. You still need to be very vigilant about how much information is posted and actively teach your student to be both safe and smart. You need to have a Facebook page yourself so that you can keep track of things.
A personal observation...
When my daughter was in 7th grade she really wanted a Face book page. We said "No". She was mad but life went on. Now she is a Freshman and still does not have a Facebook page. Recently a young 15 year old girl in a near by town was picked for lunch by a 19 year-old Facebook boyfriend. She did not return to school on time. She was sexually assaulted that afternoon and then showed up at school at 3:30. It was not the "lunch date" she had in mind. Our school superintendent talked to the students at our school about the dangers of Facebook. Our daughter, now convinced the parental units are not completely stupid came home and said "Mom, Dr. ____ talked to us about Facebook and he said the same things you do." While she won't admit it I saw the relief in her face. When the parent says "No" you are the bad, uncool guy and it takes the pressure off your student. Put up with the fuss your student will make and stand firm. It will pay off in a few years.
Is your child on Facebook? If so you need to find out how much of your personal information your child has posted on the Internet. Some kids just post their name, address, phone number, cell phone number, and looking for a relationship without a second thought. Kids are often tricked into being friends with stalkers. Stalkers are very clever and have a million different ploys to become "friends" with your child.
Privacy
Parents that allow their children to be on social networks like Facebook, My Space, and Twitter need to be extremely vigilant about what is posted on social networking sites. I often hear parents defend their child's Facebook activity by telling me it is private and only open to their friends. First do you really know all of your child's Facebook friends? How much time do you have to monitor their social network activities? Second, there is nothing posted on the Internet that a smart stalker can't find out.
While you may think you are keeping track of what is going on another common trick is for kids to create two Facebook pages; one for their parents to see and one that the parents do not know about for their friends. Please be wise enough to recognize this as a possibility and don't get caught in the mentality that your child "would never do that". Check things out.
Bullying
When I taught high school I was shocked at the amount of bullying that occurred Facebook. People will say things on Facebook that they will never say to a person's face. Nice, student council type kids would find a victim and set up a group to pick on a fellow student. In a high school setting the victim has no place to hide from the wolf pack that surrounds them. Things spiral downward for the victim and the perpetrators don't get caught because they never quite cross the line of mentioning names or being libelous.
Sex
Many after school sexual encounters are set up on Facebook. Purchase parental controls for your computer and don't allow kids on the computer when you are not around to be the POS (parent over shoulder). Your kids will be annoyed but that is your job as a parent. Keep your kids accountable as to their whereabouts after school. Come home from work early occasionally just to check up on things.
Just say "No".
I do not think children should be allowed to have a Facebook page until they are in at least 11th grade. While this is very "uncool" it will save you a ton of headaches. By the time a child is in the upper high school grades most of the middle school meanness should be over. You still need to be very vigilant about how much information is posted and actively teach your student to be both safe and smart. You need to have a Facebook page yourself so that you can keep track of things.
A personal observation...
When my daughter was in 7th grade she really wanted a Face book page. We said "No". She was mad but life went on. Now she is a Freshman and still does not have a Facebook page. Recently a young 15 year old girl in a near by town was picked for lunch by a 19 year-old Facebook boyfriend. She did not return to school on time. She was sexually assaulted that afternoon and then showed up at school at 3:30. It was not the "lunch date" she had in mind. Our school superintendent talked to the students at our school about the dangers of Facebook. Our daughter, now convinced the parental units are not completely stupid came home and said "Mom, Dr. ____ talked to us about Facebook and he said the same things you do." While she won't admit it I saw the relief in her face. When the parent says "No" you are the bad, uncool guy and it takes the pressure off your student. Put up with the fuss your student will make and stand firm. It will pay off in a few years.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
