To my daughters... the game of LOVE!

It takes a spark.  Some electricity between a boy and girl.  Without this- well it's just not to be.  Sorry girls- chasing a man down just doesn't work.  This will cause you some disappointment in the short term but in the long term you will be rewarded.  So here are my thoughts, dear girls, on finding love.

Buyer Beware.  What do you know about this man?  What is his reputation?  This will take some time if he's not from your hometown.  So settle in and enjoy the game of cat and mouse.  It will take at least a year of dating to discover if he is really a good, honorable man.

Don't chase him or make him love you.  He either is attracted to you or not.  Women do all kinds of things to hook the man THEY want.  Hooks include (but are not limited to): damsel in distress, premarital sex, pregnancies, making him feel guilty.  Please just don't do any of these things.  It always, always ends badly.  The guy feels trapped and ultimately leaves.  Do you really want to find yourself married to a man that doesn't want you?

You do need to flirt.  Think of this as a test balloon.  You float the idea (in some subtle way) of being together and see if he is interested.  If not... well move on.  Note that there is a big difference between encouraging a man you are interested in and chasing a man you are interested in.  This is a delicate dance.

Fix up.  Be attractive in a simple way. You will attract what you project with your appearance.  If you look sleazy you attract sleazy men.  If you look neat and stylish you will attract a neat, stylish man.   Be the best you can be but don't try to be something you are not.  Easy on the make-up and keep a healthy, realistic weight.

Hang out where the good guys are.  Bad places attract bad men.  Church is a good place to start.  No men there?  Try a different church.

This is all terribly old fashioned, I know.  Those women with a more "Liberated" viewpoint will tell you that I am dead wrong but the basic nature of men has not changed and can't be changed by women's lib.  A good man wants to win the prize :YOU.  This is NOT the same as being conquered. Conquered implies domination: a winner and a loser.  This is not love.  Love is a prize that is awarded at the end of a long race.  This is what you want.

When you find that mutual spark nurture the relationship so the spark can grow into an ember and ultimately burst into flame at the marriage altar. Time together doing fun things and making memories will create sweet memories of your courtship.  Take your time.  Love will find you.