The Lost Dr. Seuss Poem

I love my job!
I love my job, I love the pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, he is the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location, I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and grey, and piles of paper that grow each day!
I think my job is really swell, there's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers, I love their leers, and jeers, and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it won't care. I love each program and every file.
I'd love them more if they worked a while.

I'm happy to be here. I am. I am.
I'm the happiest slave of the Firm, I am.
I love theis work, I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job- I'll say it again-I even love those friendly men.
Those friendly men who've come today,
In clean white coats to take me away!!!

Time for a change???

Is it time for a change in your life? Perhaps you've been laid off, or fired. Maybe you are just stuck in a rut in a dead end job. It's time to think out of the box and move toward a more meaningful life. I would recommend Dan Miller's 48 Days to Work You Love to help you move toward a happier life. Your not alone in your frustration with work...read on…

Maybe Dats Youwr Pwoblem Too
by Jim Hall

All my pwoblems
who knows, maybe evwbody’s pwoblems
is due to da fact, due to da awful twuth
dat I am SPIDERMAN.

I know, I know. All da dumb jokes:
No flies on you, ha ha
and da ones about what do I do wit all
doze extra legs in bed. Well, dat’s funny yeah.
But you twy being
SPIDERMAN for a month or two. Go ahead.

You get doze cwazy call fwom da
Gubbener askin you to twap some booglar who’s
only twying to wip off color T.V. sets
Now, what do I cawre about T.V. sets?

But I pull on da suit, da stinkin suit,
wit da sucker cups on da finger,
and get my wopes and wittle bundle of
equipment and den I go flying like cwazy
acwoss da town fwom woof top to woof top.
Till der he is. Some poor dumb color T.V. slob
and I fall on him and we westle a widdle
until I get him all woped. So big deal.

You tink when you SPIDERMAN
der’s sometin big going to happen to you.
Well, I tell you what. It don’t happen dat way.
Nuttin happens. Gubbener calls, I go.
Bwing him to powice. Gubbener calls again,
like dat over and over.

I tink I twy sometin diffunt. I tink I twy
sometin excitin like wacing cawrs. Sometin to make
my heart beat at a difwent wate.
But den you just can’t quit being sometin like
SPIDERMAN.
You SPIDERMAN for life. Fowever. I can’t even
buin my suit. It won’t buin. It’s fwame wesistent.
So maybe dat’s da whole pwoblem wif evwytin.
Nobody can buin der suits, day all fwame wesistent.
Who knows?

Time to try something new-BURN THE SUIT!

Are you smarter than your computer?

NOVA (PBS) recently aired a program about a team of researchers at IBM that were building a computer to compete on JEOPARDY! They named the computer "Watson". "Watson" competed against Jeopardy's top winners and won. But don't despair. Computers can recall facts with a great deal of accuracy but have real problems with the nuances of language. The human brain is fearfully and wonderfully made. So celebrate your human smarts and enjoy these tricky word plays!
Watson can't laugh!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a
rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

The optometrist who fell into the eyeglass making machine made
a spectacle of himself.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.