Some of the best advice I have ever heard...

"Pick and choose your battles"

What's your favorite piece of wisdom?

Learning love...

They say the first five years of a child's life are the most important...

As quoted from PBS's Downton Abbey:

"What I want for her (Rose) to know is that family can be a loving thing.  Love is like riding or speaking French... if you don't learn it young it's hard to get the trick of it later".

--Shrimpy speaking about his daughter Rose whom had not seen an example of a loving family in his own home.

Any other Downton Abbey fans out there?  What nuggets of wisdom have you picked up from this colorful cast of characters?

What really matters... Number Four

Quality time vs. Quantity time.  This debate has been going on for a long time.  I think that quality and quanity time with the family are equally important.  Quality time moments cannot be scripted or forced.  Sometimes the most well planned event is a total flop and sometimes a silly spontanous moment of fun just happens.

Planning quality time is important as it signals that you care enough to plan a cool outing or event.  Quality time often makes some special memories.

Quantity time is when you usually have those important conservations with the kids.  Quantity time lets things flow in their own good time... maybe late at night or in the car but it is important to be there. 

What's your favorite way to spend time with your family?

What really matters... Number Three

The family dinner is a precious moment that we take for granted.  This is the time that we can gather after a busy day and share  prayers,  thoughts, encouragement , and  a laugh.  It is so easy to dismiss this as unimportant.  Busy evenings, sports schedules and all manner of good things can push the family dinner to the side.  I am going to work on making this a priority in our family life.

What's your family's favorite meal?

Sunset Beach

We had just finished enjoying one of Door County Wisconsin's fish boils.  We wandered out of the White Gull Inn in Fish Creek, Wisconsin and walked a short distance to Sunset Park.  A large quiet crowd had gathered to watch the sunset.  People were sitting everywhere quietly chatting with family and friends.  A few couples were sipping wine in glasses, others had a good book along and the family dogs were laying quietly.  Children played near Mom and Dad.  A lovely, lovely, picture of family life in America.  It was beautiful.  As the sun slipped below the horizon the crowd broke out into spontanous applause.  Lovely! 

from the Honeymooners...

Here's a great little nugget of truth...

Josh called me after his honeymoon with his sweet wife, Michelle.  They had a wonderful trip.  Josh told me that he and Michelle had rented a bicycle built for two to ride around Mackinaw Island.  He said "At first we had trouble with it (the bike) but then we got in sync and got the hang of it".    Relationships are like that too.  Marriage takes time, work, and trial and error to create a smooth running marriage.  Congratulations Josh and Michelle... may you happily ride on into your future!

Taking correction... Part 2

... you have to read this one slowly:

Best is the man who can himself advise;
He too is good who hearkens to the wise;

Who, himself being witless, will not heed
Another's wisdom, is worthless indeed.

Hesiod
( c. 720 B.C.)

Taking correction...

Taking correction is not easy to do.  None of us like to hear about where we need to improve.  However it is an important thing to listen to the wisdom of others.

"Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies one made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience.  Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith".
1 Timothy 1:18-19

Any thoughts on how to be heard when you see a shipwreck happening?

Relationships

Relationships have to be nurtured.

Relationships take...
Time
Grace (none of us are prefect)
Patience
Effort
Talk
Money
Kindness

When we don't nuture relationships ... well-- they just die. 
How do you stay in touch?

Control vs. Leadership

Trying to "control" people is a bad thing.  First of all it doesn't work.  Second you are signing up for everyone to hate you... passionately.   Those who rule with an iron hand, order others around, and demand things are difficult people.  Controllers do not listen to or seek input from their subordinates.  The order is issued without any thought or consideration as to what the subordinates viewpoint on the project might be.  Controllers either find themselves embroiled in conflict or simply feared.   If you are a controlling person... 1.) admit it and 2.) fix it.

Leadership is a very different style.  A leader sets things up for success and then steps back and lets things happen.  People have the freedom to participate or not.  By giving people the option of participation it allows people to take ownership of the project.  It also allows for input which may result in an improved project.

Here are some examples:
Family control:  Mom (or Dad) set up a family gathering and demand that everyone will be there at the time and place they have chosen.  There are no excused absences.  People are made to feel guilty if they do not participate.  No one really wants to come and ultimately the family withdraws from each other.
Family Leadership:  Mom (or Dad) float an idea for a gathering to all.  Input as to times, dates, and activities are taken note of.  After considering every one's thoughts.  Mom and Dad set a time and date and invite all who can make it.  It is optional and their are no emotional penalties to not attending.  Plans are made to ensure that a "good time can be had by all".  Things are planned so that there are various options (food and activities) so people do not find themselves forced into food and activities that they hate.  Leaders also set boundaries for family members if needed.  A wise leader will choose these battles carefully.  Family members find themselves wanting to gather because it was so much fun.

Controlling boss:  The boss orders his employees to do things his way.  Employees have no input as to how to approach the project and are severely criticized if they do not produce the desired results.  The boss micromanages and interferes with the employees work thus slowing things down.
Leadership boss:  The boss outlines the project that needs to be done and the timeline for completion.  The boss takes volunteers for each piece of the task.  If their are no volunteers the boss is then in the position to assign tasks.  Input is taken, materials are made available, and employees are asked to accomplish the task.  The boss is there to supervise, problem solve, and help as needed.  If employees refuse to work (their option) then the boss (his option) may fire the employee.  Employees take pride and ownership of the project and great things happen.

What are your thoughts on leadership?

Attitude is Everything!

I know lots of people that complain about their lives. Their lack of gratitude for all the good things in their lives is just wrong. Their lives become sad BECAUSE they complain.

When things go wrong in our lives it is easy to lose sight of all the many, many, blessings that have been bestowed on us. We need to maintain an attitude of gratitude and look for all the positive things that we have going for us. Complaining is easy; a fresh perspective on your situation takes some thought.

Life will always have problems, back sets, and bad circumstances but by focusing on the positive things will go better. Solutions, opportunities, and fresh thoughts come to those that stay positive.

Some things I am thankful for:
Peace and safety.
A good night's rest.
My family who loves me.
Food to eat.
Pets to play with.
Many interesting and free things to do.
My health.
A roof over my head.
Clean water to drink and play in.
Libraries.
My church.
Neighbors that will help in times of need.
Friendships.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Whats on your Thankful list?

Protecting your treasure.

We all have treasures! You need to give some thought protecting your treasure while you are on Facebook. Facebook is a PUBIC forum no matter what your privacy settings are set to. You must remember you are not in your living room talking to your family or on the phone.
You need to protect your:
Identity:This includes your name, photo, address, phone numbers, husbands and children's names and photos. How much do you you want strangers to know? It does not matter that your settings are set to "friends only". Anything that is posted is available to "others".
Home:Please don't post that you are going somewhere for the weekend. There are lots of clever bad people out there and you may find your flat screen TV gone when you get back.
Money:This goes with all of the above. If your house is robbed you could potentially lose your identity and your bank accounts could get cleaned out too.
ChildrenI do not post anything about my family. I don't claim my kids, nieces, nephews, siblings or husband. Anyone that I am friends with on FB already knows who my relatives are. I personally know a child molester. He is on FB in the shadows with a false city and state. I think he knows about me but I certainly don't want him to know about my children. Predators are out there and they do not have your best interests in mind. Makes my skin crawl just to even think about it.
Reputation
What do your posts reveal about you?
Are you negative?
Lazy?
Unproductive? Too much time on Farmville?
Bored? Desperate?
Depressed?
Family arguments?
Are you or your kids disrespectful to others?
Unemployed? (does the world need to know?)

If you signed a background check be aware that employers can get into FB farther than the average person. My employer hires this done by a independent company. Always assume that your post is being read by your boss or if you are unemployed by those that interviewed you. Many potential hires have been "weeded out" by their FB posts.

Be smart! "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold". Proverbs 22:1

Shopping at El Cheap Grocery

Now you are ready to explore new territory. I challenge you to go where you’ve never been before-El Cheap Grocery Inc. Before you start your venture you need to know the rules of the game. Take a quarter with you as you venture into the store. El Cheap keeps their carts in jail. You have to deposit a quarter to unlock the cart. You get your quarter back when you return your cart to the jail. This is a great motivator for customer to return carts to their proper place. Take your own grocery bags from Fancy Grocery across town—no one will bat an eye. El Cheap charges for bags. Leave your credit card and checkbook at home—no El Cheap is not free-they only take cash and debit cards. What you will find at El Cheap is basic groceries at great prices. As you make your way through the no-frills aisles you will find lots of generics and a few name brands. Be bold –try some generics—they often come off the same line as name brand items they just have a different label.

What El Cheap does have:
Good prices
A total lack of ambivalence
Two flavors of jello
Two flavors of pudding
A few name brands
Lots of generic canned goods
Courteous and fast checkers.
And great chocolate! (often from Germany)
Good quality sugar and flour.

What El cheap does NOT have:
Great lighting
Beautifully displayed produce
Free cookies for the kids (were they really free?)
Free balloons for the kids
A penny pony
Pizza smells wafting through the doors
Free samples
Free Coffee
Baggers
A Deli
A floral shop
Great Holiday displays
Everything

In case you are wondering... El Cheap is ALDI. If you need to save money and feed a small army it's the place to go.

Brown bagging it!

The number one reason to brown bag it is to save money.
Here's the math...

Number of people not eating at home X cost of lunch X five days per week =
the amount of money saved per week.

A school year is usually 36 weeks.
For adults multiply by the number of weeks worked per year. If you have two weeks of vacation then you work 50 weeks.

Example Kids:
Three kids X $2.75(cost of a school lunch) X 5 days X 36 weeks of school = $1485

Adults:
Two adults X $4.00(cost of eating out at noon) X 5 days X 50 weeks of work = $2000

Adults: Coffee and Vending
Two adults X $1.50 X 5 days X 50 weeks of work= $750
Based on the above calculation three school lunches plus two adult lunches costs $19.25 per day.
That’s a lot of money.

Brown bagging is NOT economical if you simply go the grocery and buy prepackaged pudding, cute little potato chip bags, kids microwave lunches and Jell-O.
A homemade brown bag lunch costs about $1.50 per person. A brown bag lunch for 5 people would cost $7.50 per day. $19.25 minus $7.50 is $11.75 saved per day!
If I save $11.75 per day for 20 minutes of effort- my hourly rate is $35.25 per hour. It may well be worth your time to pack a lunch.

Here are some ideas:
Sandwiches (be creative) leftover ham, turkey or meatloaf makes great sandwiches.
Split a french loaf of bread longways and fill with meat and cheese. Cut these into lunchsize sandwiches. Package individual sandwiches in freezer storage bags without condiments. Condiments can be added at lunchtime. Keep your mustard or mayo in the refrigerator at work. Finish by packing a little bag of vegies in the morning to add to your thawed out sandwich at noon.

Make a big batch of finger Jell-O on the weekend. Make two boxes of pudding and pour into individual containers.

Freeze leftover pieces of cake, bars or brownies.

Baby carrots

Cherry tomatoes

Pour pretzels, finger cereals, and goldfish from a big bag put into snack size bags. This is a good weekend job for the kids. I recommend using a ¼ cup measuring cup.

Celery with peanut butter (celery must be dry or peanut butter will slide off) add raisins for Ants on a Log.

For adults with access to a microwave: fill microwaveable dishes with supper leftovers.
Soup, spaghetti, and pasta bakes can be put in these containers at suppertime and be ready to go. No extra work. No wasted leftovers.

Please share your brown bag ideas.

Every Child Is Created Special...e-mail by Sarah Palin

Quoted from National Right to Life News June/ July 2011.
"It was initially written, obviously not for publication, in April of 2008 just a few day before the arrival of her fifth child, Trig, who was born with Down's syndrome. In her email Palin imagines a letter from God to the family about to launch on its challenging child-rearing experience together...
Andrew Malcolm, New York Times

E-mail by Sarah Palin (abridged):
To the Sisters, Brother, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Friends of Trig Palin...,
I am blessing you with this surprise baby because I only want the best for you. I've heard yours prayers that this baby will be happy and healthy, and I've answered them because I only want the best for you!...

Then, I put the idea in your hearts that his name should be "Trig" because it's so fitting with two Norse meanings: "True" and "Brave Victory". You also have a Bristol Bay relative with that name, so I knew it would be best for you!

Then, I let Trig's mom have an exceptionally comfortable pregnancy so she could enjoy every minute of it, and I even seemed to rush it along so she could wait until near the end to surprise you with the news-that way Piper wouldn't have so long to wait and count down so many days-just like Christmastime when you have to wait, impatiently, for that special day to finally open your gift?...At first the news seemed unreal and sad and confusing. But I gave Trig's mom and dad lots of time to think about it because they needed lots of time to understand that everything will be OK, in fact, everything will be great, because I only want the best for you!...

Then, finally, I let Trig's mom and Dad find out before he was born that this little boy will truly be a GIFT. They were told in early tests that Trig may provide more challenges, and more joy, than what they ever may have imagined or ever asked for. At first the news seemed unreal and sad and confusing. But I gave Trig's mom and dad lots of time to think about it because they needed lots of time to understand that everything will be OK, in fact, everything will be great, because I only want the best for you!

I've given Trig's mom and dad peace and joy as they wait to meet their new son. I gave them a happy anticipation because they asked me for that. I'll give all of you the same happy anticipation and strength to deal with Trig's challenges, but I won't impose on you... I just need to know you want to receive my offer to be with all of you and help you everyday to make Trig's life a great one.

This new person in your life can help everyone put things in perspective and bind us together and get everyone focused on what really matters. The baby will expand your world and let you see and feel things you haven't experienced yet. He'll show you what "true, brave victory" really means as those who love him will think less about self and focus less on what the world tells you is "normal" or "perfect". You will grow and be blessed with greater understanding that will be born along with Trig.

Trig will be his dad's little buddy and he'll wear Carharts while he learns to tinker in the garage. He'll love to be read to, he'll want to play goalie, and he'll steal his mom's heart just like Track, Bristol, Willow and Piper did...

Every child is created special, with awesome purpose and amazing potential. Children are the most precious and promising ingredient in this mixed up world you live in down there on earth. Trig is no different, except he has one extra chromosome. Doctors call it "Down's Syndrome", and Downs kids have challenges, but can bring you much delight and more love than you can ever imagine! Just wait and see, let me prove this, because I only want the best for you!

Some of the rest of the world may not want him, but take comfort in that because the world will not compete for him. Take care of him and he will always be yours!

Trig's mom and dad don't want people to focus on the baby's extra chromosome. They're human, so they haven't known how to explain this to people who are so caring and are interested in this new little Alaskan. Sarah and Todd want people to share in the joy of this gift I'm giving to the Palin family, and the greater Alaska family. Many people won't understand... and I understand that. Some will think Trig should not be allowed to be born because they fear a Downs child won't be considered "perfect" in your world. (But tell me, what do you earthings consider "perfect" or even "normal" in any way?...Have you noticed I make 'em all shapes and sizes? Believe me, there is no "perfect"!)

Many people will express sympathy, but you don't want or need that, because Trig will be a joy. You will have to trust me on this.

I know it will take time to grasp this and come to accept that I only want the best for you, and I only give my best. Remember though:"My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts...for as the heavens are higher than the earth, my ways are hgiher than yours!"

I wrote that all down for you in the Good Book! Look it up! You claim that you believe me-now it's time to leave out that belief!

Please look to me as this new challenge and chaper of life unfolds in front of you. I promise to equip you. I won't give you anything you can't handle. I am answering your prayers. Trig can't wait to meeet you. I'm giving you ONLY THE BEST!

Love,
Trig's Creator, Your Heavely Father

I love this...

A True Home

A roof to keep out the rain. Four walls to keep out the wind. Floors to keep out the cold. Yes, but home is more than that. It is the laugh of a baby, the song of mother, the strength of a father. Warmth of loving hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comaradeship. Home is first school..for the young ones where they learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick. Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where children are wanted. Where the simplest food is good enough for kings beacuse it is earned. Where money is not so important as loving-kindness. Where even the teakettle sings from happiness. That is home.

by Ernestine Schumann-Heink

Mom's top 20!

1. Follow Christ everyday and make sure your life reflects that you are a disciplined disciple.
2. Be good to your family. Make sure they are your first priority.
3. Love yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself. Don’t look to others for approval or love. Some people just don’t have the capacity to love others.
4. Truly love others and demonstrate this with acts of kindness and service.
5. Be kind with your words.
6. Hear and heed correction when it comes your way.
7. Don’t marry someone that is selfish or self centered.
8. Have a big family and raise them right.
9. Hang on to your money. Be a vigilant saver and a wise spender.
10. Stay out of debt.
11. Splurge once in a while. Your kids will be delighted.
12. Pay attention to your money. Know how much you have and how much it is earning. Educate yourself on investing. No one cares more about YOUR money than you do. Be careful whom you trust.
13. Don’t waste much time in front of a screen.
14. Work hard. Be polite. You will go far.
15. Eat your fruits veggies. Organic if possible.
16. Exercise and get some sunshine everyday. It will keep the blues away.
17. Count your blessings. Maintain a positive attitude.
18. Don't waste your time, effort, money, or emotional energy on people that don't appreciate you for what you are.
18. When going through troubles know that “this too shall pass.”
19. Take care of your stuff and don’t keep excess. Stuff can really burden your life.
20. Collect memories!

I wish you enough...

King Uzziah becomes King of Jerusalem when he was 16 years old. He started out as a good king. You will find his fascinating story in 2 Chronicles 26. The Bible describes King Uzziah’s life as: “He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord … He sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. As long as he sought the Lord, God gave him success”.

Things go along quite well. King Uzziah is a busy and successful man. The Chronicler describes his many activities which include successful military conquests, building towers, fortifying city walls, and building catapults. King Uzziah’s favorite activity was farming and the Bible describes him as “having much livestock in the foothills and the plain. He had people working his fields and vineyards in the hills and in the fertile lands, for he loved the soil”.

But then things go south…”But after Uzziah become powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense”. This was a job that only the priests were to do in the temple. The priests confronted King Uzziah and asked him to “Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God”. King Uzziah gets really angry and while he “was raging at the priests…in the Lord’s temple leprosy broke out on this forehead”. Whoa! The King quickly leaves the temple now and spends the rest of his life living in a separate house as a leper.

It’s hard to stay focused on God when we have too much. So with this story in mind…
I wish you enough…

o I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
o I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
o I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
o I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
o I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
o I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
o I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

"...give me neither proverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say,'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God". Proverbs 30:8b-9

Priorities

What are your priorities? Do you know? In other words what is most important in your life? You need to have this one correct in your life because it has very long term effects.

Here are some examples of wrong priorities:
A minister that values the needs of his church over his children's needs.
A husband that values only his wife's beauty.
A father or mother that climbs the company ladder at the expense of their children.
A parent that allows a hobby or interest to take priority over their family.
A missionary that sets aside their own children's needs for the needs of others they are bombarded with.
A wife that simply pursues material possessions and gets caught up in "keeping up with the Jones".
A father that wants to make his child a sports star at all costs.


Our priorities determine how we spend our time and money. This has a huge impact on how we live our lives.

The Bible gives us clear guidance on this question in these two statements.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind".
"Do unto others as you would be done by and love your neighbor as yourself".

First we should love God.
Second we are to love ourselves.
Third we are to love others.

Loving God with our heart, soul, and mind gives us a worldview that is larger than ourselves. Our human perspective is very, very, limited and it would be easy for us to fall into a hedonistic*, self-centered lifestyle.
* hedonist- living for pleasure, seeking self gratification.

Loving ourselves does not give us permission to simply live for our own selfish interests. However, loving oneself is quite necessary for us to be able to love others. Self hate leads to a crippled life complicated by self-doubt, guilt, and an unhealthy body. We are UNABLE to serve others if we do not love ourselves.

Loving others is a great investment. Our families should be the number one "others". Your children will know where your heart is. Missing this one has very long term consequences. If you love God and take care of yourself you will be able to raise children that will put God first in their lives and love God with their heart soul and mind.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well". Matthew 6:33

Weird things my Mom says and what they mean...

Look before you leap.
Spend a lot of time with your intended before you marry him or her. The rest of your life is a long time and divorce is very, very messy.

Check out the pros and cons of a job before you take it.

Do some independent research before you invest your hard earned money.

A stitch in time saves nine.
Fix it now or it will be a bigger repair later (and cost more money).

Fish and company stink after three days.
Remember this one - especially if you're the guest! Your host will love you for it!

Big hat no cows.
Remember that the Jones' that live next door are probably in debt up to their eyebrows. Everybody that looks rich isn't.

A penny saved is a penny earned.
Every dollar you waste is a missed opportunity.

Sip all day get decay.
Lay off the sodas.

A man's work is from sun to sun but a woman's work is never done.
I am a mother of four ... do I need to explain this one??

Fools names are like their faces always appearing in public places.
Thou shalt not scribble your name, or phone number or anything else on the bathroom door.

Make new friends but keep the old - one is silver and the other is gold.

Get a job.
You'll do yourself a favor.

Idle hands are the devil's tools.
Kids and adults without responsibilities are likely to find trouble.

Get out of bed. Get busy.
Don't let life's difficult circumstances stop you from being productive.

Turn off the TV / computer / video game.
Do you have a life or are you watching someone else have a life?

Get a life.
Accomplish something that is tangible. Definition of tangible: something that can be touched, something that is real. For example: knit a scarf, plant a garden, or give the dog a bath. Sorry, high score on a video game does not count!

Life is short.
Don't let another day go by without letting your family members know how much you love them.

Don't throw your pearls to swine.
You will encounter those who will not listen to wisdom. When you meet mockers and scorners don't waste your time, energy or wisdom on them.

Work real hard for about ten years and you'll be an overnight success.

You reap what you sow.
If you sow stupid you'll reap desperate.
If you sow a plan and work hard you'll reap success.